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(no subject)
Jan. 23rd, 2007 | 01:57 pm
Whoa it's been a long time.
two months later.....
Still work at the coffee place. that's fun. they've recently told me they want to work me into a supervising role. what-ever that means.. as long as I get payed more I'm cool with that. my hair is starting to grow out ..... looks nice. it's still poofy though. I'm excited to hear of news from many travelers, despite my jealousy.
Mary and I have been hanging out all the time. that is AWESOME. I'm watching lots of movies.
Boys are starting to look appealing. that makes me worry.
I can't wait for summer. I want to go shopping. I need to do my taxes, cause that means I get money back. must pay Visa and give monies to pa. there goes my tax return.
I've applied to 3 universities.
Carleton - Child Studies
U of O - General Arts
U of W - to make grand mama happy.
I'm actually finding myself looking more and more at carleton. and I know I shouldn't because of all the people I know who went there and told me they're fucked. but it really is the best decision for me right now.
I'm working on my initiative this year. I need to be able to do things alone. I hate being alone. I need to start liking it.
I also need to keep the house clean.
and that is where I'm at right now.
ALSO - doea nyone have a sewing machine?
two months later.....
Still work at the coffee place. that's fun. they've recently told me they want to work me into a supervising role. what-ever that means.. as long as I get payed more I'm cool with that. my hair is starting to grow out ..... looks nice. it's still poofy though. I'm excited to hear of news from many travelers, despite my jealousy.
Mary and I have been hanging out all the time. that is AWESOME. I'm watching lots of movies.
Boys are starting to look appealing. that makes me worry.
I can't wait for summer. I want to go shopping. I need to do my taxes, cause that means I get money back. must pay Visa and give monies to pa. there goes my tax return.
I've applied to 3 universities.
Carleton - Child Studies
U of O - General Arts
U of W - to make grand mama happy.
I'm actually finding myself looking more and more at carleton. and I know I shouldn't because of all the people I know who went there and told me they're fucked. but it really is the best decision for me right now.
I'm working on my initiative this year. I need to be able to do things alone. I hate being alone. I need to start liking it.
I also need to keep the house clean.
and that is where I'm at right now.
ALSO - doea nyone have a sewing machine?
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(no subject)
Nov. 1st, 2006 | 02:46 pm
There is some crazy couple talking pig latin, or what sounds like it, beside me. I want to tell them to stop yelling. fuckers.
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(no subject)
Oct. 31st, 2006 | 01:38 pm
So yesterday was the shittiest day of all days.
I got a call from someone I hadn't talked to in a long time. Fuck him for being so inconsiderate about my life. Love him for being so inconsiderate about my life..I feeeeeel like I'm in a teen movie.
CRAMPPSSSS from hell, dishwasher at work broke at 830 PM, MArtin got fired, Art was puking all over my house, then I get this call from said boy. booourns.
I'll get better.
In other news, Micah has a new girl and to clarify past post, I am NOT angry about THAT boy. lol. I am actually quite happy about it. My first reaction was, Oh that's sweet. Unfortunately, I am a little disappointed that he didn't even mention it/ignored me the last couple times I've seen him. Oh well, I'm taking steps to correct our situation. I really want to be friends with someone I knew for soooo long.
Call , done.
today can't be anyway worse than last day and yes, I am tempting fate.
HEAR THAT FATE! ?! I AM TEMPTING YOU WITH MY IMPENETRABLE HAPPINESS!
*EDIT* and I went to get my hair done today with my 60.00$ from the guv.ern.ment
HOT DAMN
I got a call from someone I hadn't talked to in a long time. Fuck him for being so inconsiderate about my life. Love him for being so inconsiderate about my life..I feeeeeel like I'm in a teen movie.
CRAMPPSSSS from hell, dishwasher at work broke at 830 PM, MArtin got fired, Art was puking all over my house, then I get this call from said boy. booourns.
I'll get better.
In other news, Micah has a new girl and to clarify past post, I am NOT angry about THAT boy. lol. I am actually quite happy about it. My first reaction was, Oh that's sweet. Unfortunately, I am a little disappointed that he didn't even mention it/ignored me the last couple times I've seen him. Oh well, I'm taking steps to correct our situation. I really want to be friends with someone I knew for soooo long.
Call , done.
today can't be anyway worse than last day and yes, I am tempting fate.
HEAR THAT FATE! ?! I AM TEMPTING YOU WITH MY IMPENETRABLE HAPPINESS!
*EDIT* and I went to get my hair done today with my 60.00$ from the guv.ern.ment
HOT DAMN
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(no subject)
Oct. 30th, 2006 | 11:52 am
WHY ARE BOYS FUCKING RETARDED.
I can't believe I feel duped. I feel cheated. I feel worthless. Like I was an idiot for so long. I don't even really care, I'm actually kind of happy. But fuck. Seriously. It's my own issue. I want to kill him. No I don't. I want to stop being such a doormat. I want to not care. I want to get internet in my home so I can update more. *I want to split myself in two so I could explore both experiences*
I want to erase the last two years of my life. *so I could've continued previous relationship* No I don't . I wouldn't have met so many awesome people. I love them all. They are my family.
Most of the time ones family does not grow up under the same roof.
I can't believe I feel duped. I feel cheated. I feel worthless. Like I was an idiot for so long. I don't even really care, I'm actually kind of happy. But fuck. Seriously. It's my own issue. I want to kill him. No I don't. I want to stop being such a doormat. I want to not care. I want to get internet in my home so I can update more. *I want to split myself in two so I could explore both experiences*
I want to erase the last two years of my life. *so I could've continued previous relationship* No I don't . I wouldn't have met so many awesome people. I love them all. They are my family.
Most of the time ones family does not grow up under the same roof.
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(no subject)
Oct. 22nd, 2006 | 05:30 pm
So I just spent 500$ on myself in the past week.
Huzah.
New underwear
Bra
2 Pants
7 shirts
sweater
brown leather boots
Paying for Gigolo
and I still have 40 bux on the phone, AND I've been giving Mary money too! AND I will have enough for rent.
I love my job:)
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(no subject)
Oct. 16th, 2006 | 01:26 pm
H O L Y F U C K
Lewis Black rocks my world. The show was a success! Whee! I had sooo much fun it was ridiculous.
Many things did he comically discuss...
Thanks for not invading us Canada.
Bush is a retard
The word retard isn't used often enough
Democrats are retards too
halloween is retarded
candy corn...well candy corn
you're an adult, you don't have to ask permission to dress up like batman.
IraQ and IraN and how the crakerjack CIA confused the letters.
quail Hunting in a line - NOT a circle
masturbation and CNN
the one liners - Dick Cheney, Michael Jackson and Mel Gibson
Pat buchanan and how he laughs inward - so he must be evil.
Canadian soldiers lighting a pot field on fire, standing downwind in Afganistan and wondering where you can get pizza
Hippo swallows Dwarf
Wife almost bites off husbands penis while sucking him off as he makes pancakes
I have never laughed so hard in my life.... my cheeks were painful.. as were my feet, because I decided to wear my new boots as well. boourns.
man mr.black should get a purple fuck heart.
Lewis Black rocks my world. The show was a success! Whee! I had sooo much fun it was ridiculous.
Many things did he comically discuss...
Thanks for not invading us Canada.
Bush is a retard
The word retard isn't used often enough
Democrats are retards too
halloween is retarded
candy corn...well candy corn
you're an adult, you don't have to ask permission to dress up like batman.
IraQ and IraN and how the crakerjack CIA confused the letters.
quail Hunting in a line - NOT a circle
masturbation and CNN
the one liners - Dick Cheney, Michael Jackson and Mel Gibson
Pat buchanan and how he laughs inward - so he must be evil.
Canadian soldiers lighting a pot field on fire, standing downwind in Afganistan and wondering where you can get pizza
Hippo swallows Dwarf
Wife almost bites off husbands penis while sucking him off as he makes pancakes
I have never laughed so hard in my life.... my cheeks were painful.. as were my feet, because I decided to wear my new boots as well. boourns.
man mr.black should get a purple fuck heart.
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(no subject)
Oct. 10th, 2006 | 10:55 am
<table width=350 align=center border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2><tr><td bgcolor="#CCCCCC" align=center><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'><b>Your Sketchiness Factor</b></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><center><img src="http://images.blogthings.com/howsk
<center><strong>You are 18% Sketchy</strong></center></font></td></t
So, work is starting to get trying. I'm afraid I'm going to burn out soon... I'm getting really good at the baking bit though... one hour to make 2 pans of Lemon squares, 2 pans of Wildberry squares, 30 ginger cookies, 8 lemon loaves and 4 chocolate banana loaves, and 1 coffee sourdough cake. That's not bad I don't think.
I'm going to get my credit card upped. must pay obscene rogers bill.
I feel like I'm chipping away at it with a chisel.
I'm finally getting used to single life. Woot! It's not so bad. Actually, It's quite refreshing.
I'm excited for Martin to be moving in and Mary to be moving out. I enjoyed our time together, but she's not like me. I feel like an ass. Not for what I'm about to say, just the fact that I think it. I really feel there's a blatant disregard for others there. Not intentionally, but it exists. Plus Martin and I HATE pepper. It's being banned. I need to check out university now... must apply.
<center><strong>You are 18% Sketchy</strong></center></font></td></t
So, work is starting to get trying. I'm afraid I'm going to burn out soon... I'm getting really good at the baking bit though... one hour to make 2 pans of Lemon squares, 2 pans of Wildberry squares, 30 ginger cookies, 8 lemon loaves and 4 chocolate banana loaves, and 1 coffee sourdough cake. That's not bad I don't think.
I'm going to get my credit card upped. must pay obscene rogers bill.
I feel like I'm chipping away at it with a chisel.
I'm finally getting used to single life. Woot! It's not so bad. Actually, It's quite refreshing.
I'm excited for Martin to be moving in and Mary to be moving out. I enjoyed our time together, but she's not like me. I feel like an ass. Not for what I'm about to say, just the fact that I think it. I really feel there's a blatant disregard for others there. Not intentionally, but it exists. Plus Martin and I HATE pepper. It's being banned. I need to check out university now... must apply.
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Pain!!! NO THE PAAAAAIIIN!!!!!!
Sep. 18th, 2006 | 03:07 pm
Long overdue for a post.
ok friends.....
So Here i am working a full-time job again and it's awesome. I get to bake all day and take home like 10 dollars in tips.
Friday night was spent at a friends house party. fun.. I've been trying to find Flight of Dragons.
If anyone remembers that movie please comment.
I walk into ElginSt video and request this child cartoon. they dont have it, but the guy I'm talking to says hey but we dooooo have these two unrelated movies that I'm sure you'll enjoy! SDo we end up renting a dragon movie who fights a Trex right in the beggining and it was awesome. right before I decide to press play, I decide to make popcorn for the movie that will ensue. I am in the kitchen adding oil, honey and popcorn into a pot and turn the burner on... I'm also a little stoned and think that Melba toast and peanut butter is an awesome idea....
I'm peanut buttering the melba toast of awesome, and forget that I am making popcorn. I smell this smell.....
Ohno. so I start moving tha pan around.... just when I think that there is no hope left, I lift up the lid, and in doing so, a bit of the condensation from the lid drips down into the hot oil. Simultaneously, a popcorn kernel pops. shards of popcorn and oil and molten honey come splashing up towards my face!!! AHHHERGGRGGRGGR!
PAIN!!!!!! MY EYE!!! !NOT MY EYE!!!!!!! then I run to the sink and flush it out.
I continue watching the movie and go to bed.....
The next morning, today - I wake up and my eye is swollen. yeah! awesome. I wake mary up and she takes me to the clinic on slater and lyon. ok.... so now I'm in the clinic, my eye pusssssssssssy (i don't know how to writre that without being phalic (spelling?) ) and see the doctor... turns out I have second degree burns on the inside of my eyelid and am now on codeine and anti-infection thing pills.
And that friends, is my epic tale.
P.S. I am now wearing an eye patch and look rather awesome.
P.P.S. Not to mention I'm very high at the moment and chose this time to enter a fabulous entry in my livejournal.
ok friends.....
So Here i am working a full-time job again and it's awesome. I get to bake all day and take home like 10 dollars in tips.
Friday night was spent at a friends house party. fun.. I've been trying to find Flight of Dragons.
If anyone remembers that movie please comment.
I walk into ElginSt video and request this child cartoon. they dont have it, but the guy I'm talking to says hey but we dooooo have these two unrelated movies that I'm sure you'll enjoy! SDo we end up renting a dragon movie who fights a Trex right in the beggining and it was awesome. right before I decide to press play, I decide to make popcorn for the movie that will ensue. I am in the kitchen adding oil, honey and popcorn into a pot and turn the burner on... I'm also a little stoned and think that Melba toast and peanut butter is an awesome idea....
I'm peanut buttering the melba toast of awesome, and forget that I am making popcorn. I smell this smell.....
Ohno. so I start moving tha pan around.... just when I think that there is no hope left, I lift up the lid, and in doing so, a bit of the condensation from the lid drips down into the hot oil. Simultaneously, a popcorn kernel pops. shards of popcorn and oil and molten honey come splashing up towards my face!!! AHHHERGGRGGRGGR!
PAIN!!!!!! MY EYE!!! !NOT MY EYE!!!!!!! then I run to the sink and flush it out.
I continue watching the movie and go to bed.....
The next morning, today - I wake up and my eye is swollen. yeah! awesome. I wake mary up and she takes me to the clinic on slater and lyon. ok.... so now I'm in the clinic, my eye pusssssssssssy (i don't know how to writre that without being phalic (spelling?) ) and see the doctor... turns out I have second degree burns on the inside of my eyelid and am now on codeine and anti-infection thing pills.
And that friends, is my epic tale.
P.S. I am now wearing an eye patch and look rather awesome.
P.P.S. Not to mention I'm very high at the moment and chose this time to enter a fabulous entry in my livejournal.
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(no subject)
Sep. 7th, 2006 | 10:40 am
May I direct you to:
Sep. 6th, 2006 | 05:57 pm
Farewell to Summer
Sep. 6th, 2006 | 05:57 pm
posted by: </a></strong></a>![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/syndicated.gif)
rick_mercer
Clearly there is something wrong with me. I am a grown man and the sight of a school bus driving up the street on a cool September morning fills me with free floating anxiety.
What did I do over my summer vacation? Perhaps it's easier to say what I didn't do: that would be blogging. I have been a very bad blogger. I had every intention of keeping it going over the summer but we wrapped the show and then one day turned into two and then I remember going for a few pints with Seamus O'Reagan sometime in May and next thing you know here it is September and I'm back in my cubicle at the CBC staring at a very out of date blog. I am glad to be back though. I have my geometry set, my coloured pencils and I'm wearing a pair of shiny new slacks. My first show airs Tuesday October 3rd. All aboard the short bus – it's back to school.
Speaking of the short bus I see that Jack Layton has distinguished himself on the international front by coming up with a solution for the Afghanistan situation. Jack is calling for peace talks with the Taliban. About time the NDP get back to their more loony roots. For a while there they were coming off all semi-sensible.
Rest assured if there are peace talks with the Taliban and Jack Layton The Mercer Report will be there! I've attended a lot of political events over the years and as a location I would suggest holding the talks in one of the ball rooms at the casino in Hull.
I think you might be able to smoke there and I'm guessing the Taliban would appreciate that. All the Taliban really require to have a good time is an ashtray and a few de-peopled women making sure there's a steady supply of unsafe drinking water.
Agenda for Historic Peace talks between Jack Layton and Taliban leader - room 202 Casino Du Lac Leamy, Quebec
8:00 am – Jack Layton opening comments and welcome to assembled media and Taliban representative.
8:05 am – Taliban representative walks to podium, poses for photographs with Mr. Layton.
8:06 am – Taliban representative cleaves Mr. Layton in the forehead with giant axe.
8:08 am – Peace talks end.
8:10 am – Olivia Chow says she is "encouraged by talks” – announces plan to run for leadership of NDP.
What else is going on? On the Liberal front I was encouraged to read that Michael Ignatieff will not accept any questions from the media that are "anticipatory hypotheticals". I'm glad he made this clear because I hope to interview him on the show this year and I appreciate the heads up. Truth is I like Iggy but honestly sometimes I don't know what in the hell he's talking about. I thought all hypotheticals were anticipatory! I am so stupid sometimes. I googled the phrase "anticipatory hypothetical" and there are only seven known uses in the history of the English language. The term pops up on a website called indiansex.com and it's also used in an essay written by some dude in Iowa who believes that robots have taken over the world.
And finally on a sad note that crocodile hunter guy was killed by a stingray. Laugh and the world laughs with you, get killed by a benign piece of seafood and the world laughs too apparently. Showbiz is brutal that way.
Welcome back.
What did I do over my summer vacation? Perhaps it's easier to say what I didn't do: that would be blogging. I have been a very bad blogger. I had every intention of keeping it going over the summer but we wrapped the show and then one day turned into two and then I remember going for a few pints with Seamus O'Reagan sometime in May and next thing you know here it is September and I'm back in my cubicle at the CBC staring at a very out of date blog. I am glad to be back though. I have my geometry set, my coloured pencils and I'm wearing a pair of shiny new slacks. My first show airs Tuesday October 3rd. All aboard the short bus – it's back to school.
Speaking of the short bus I see that Jack Layton has distinguished himself on the international front by coming up with a solution for the Afghanistan situation. Jack is calling for peace talks with the Taliban. About time the NDP get back to their more loony roots. For a while there they were coming off all semi-sensible.
Rest assured if there are peace talks with the Taliban and Jack Layton The Mercer Report will be there! I've attended a lot of political events over the years and as a location I would suggest holding the talks in one of the ball rooms at the casino in Hull.
I think you might be able to smoke there and I'm guessing the Taliban would appreciate that. All the Taliban really require to have a good time is an ashtray and a few de-peopled women making sure there's a steady supply of unsafe drinking water.
Agenda for Historic Peace talks between Jack Layton and Taliban leader - room 202 Casino Du Lac Leamy, Quebec
8:00 am – Jack Layton opening comments and welcome to assembled media and Taliban representative.
8:05 am – Taliban representative walks to podium, poses for photographs with Mr. Layton.
8:06 am – Taliban representative cleaves Mr. Layton in the forehead with giant axe.
8:08 am – Peace talks end.
8:10 am – Olivia Chow says she is "encouraged by talks” – announces plan to run for leadership of NDP.
What else is going on? On the Liberal front I was encouraged to read that Michael Ignatieff will not accept any questions from the media that are "anticipatory hypotheticals". I'm glad he made this clear because I hope to interview him on the show this year and I appreciate the heads up. Truth is I like Iggy but honestly sometimes I don't know what in the hell he's talking about. I thought all hypotheticals were anticipatory! I am so stupid sometimes. I googled the phrase "anticipatory hypothetical" and there are only seven known uses in the history of the English language. The term pops up on a website called indiansex.com and it's also used in an essay written by some dude in Iowa who believes that robots have taken over the world.
And finally on a sad note that crocodile hunter guy was killed by a stingray. Laugh and the world laughs with you, get killed by a benign piece of seafood and the world laughs too apparently. Showbiz is brutal that way.
Welcome back.
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(no subject)
Sep. 3rd, 2006 | 12:33 pm
TEN COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse ..
You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery"
and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and
politicians - it creates a hostile work environment.
Quote of the Week:
"You know, I hear people say, well, civil war this, civil war that.
The Iraqi people decided against civil war when they went to
the ballot box."
George W Bush, 7 August 2006
"I hear a lot of talk about civil war. I'm concerned about that
of course."
George W Bush, 21 August 2006
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(no subject)
Aug. 25th, 2006 | 12:27 pm
HELLO FRIENDS! lets fight crime!
Ok... where to begin.....
Last friday we had a super awesome time at EDGE and I think I danced myself into oblivion!. I let myself get a little tooooo depressed and let things get really disgusting at my place of living.
I love Art so much for taking me out of this slump I've been in. I've finally snapped out of it. THANK GOD.
it was Michelle's Bday the other night on thursday so we went to helsinki again! I love those drag shows.. no kings tonight however. sad *tear*
Other than that......
I FOUND A JOB! that's right folks, starting tuesday I am training for my new employment at PLANET COFFEE! ATTENTION CLAUDIA! I'm on night shift and doing most of the baking! woot woot! perfecto!
Mmmmm Coffeeee.
if Tara has been a godsend and art has been a godsend Mary has been God herself.
I've put those ladies through hell and high water for a little while. :(
oh well. time to go. I CANT WAIT FOR MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Part III of Stephanie's crazy life next week!
Ok... where to begin.....
Last friday we had a super awesome time at EDGE and I think I danced myself into oblivion!. I let myself get a little tooooo depressed and let things get really disgusting at my place of living.
I love Art so much for taking me out of this slump I've been in. I've finally snapped out of it. THANK GOD.
it was Michelle's Bday the other night on thursday so we went to helsinki again! I love those drag shows.. no kings tonight however. sad *tear*
Other than that......
I FOUND A JOB! that's right folks, starting tuesday I am training for my new employment at PLANET COFFEE! ATTENTION CLAUDIA! I'm on night shift and doing most of the baking! woot woot! perfecto!
Mmmmm Coffeeee.
if Tara has been a godsend and art has been a godsend Mary has been God herself.
I've put those ladies through hell and high water for a little while. :(
oh well. time to go. I CANT WAIT FOR MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Part III of Stephanie's crazy life next week!
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(no subject)
Aug. 16th, 2006 | 02:35 am
So, I spent all night at a gay bar. For those of you who do know, Helsinki, for those of you who don't - fun times. Got free drinks all night from Art's love intrest and Art himself, got one from Tara and 3 from randoms. It was a grand ol' time.
I've forgotten how relationships make me. They create this whole different person who doesn't like to socialise. I met 100 people tonight, all of which I won't remember their names, but it was awesome!
Alex, the Russian, Art and I met at the Lookout last night came over for dinner tonight, and I MADE pizza. Man it was goooood. Speaking of which......
Pizza in hand. MMMmmmMMM.
So, the russian was cool. he ahils from the land of the cold, and is currently here for two days to get his VISA to go to school in NYC at Columbia. Everything went well, I'm happy to report, and he's not getting deported. lol.
I'm way too drunk and hungry and horny to fucking type. Ah I remember the days I had sex all the time. dammit. oh well, now theres a chase involved and that's fucking awesomeeven if it's with people who are not of the same sexual orientation as myself. meh. whatever.
I'll start going to straight bars again when I'm ready to be hit on with full intention of having RANDOM sex. I don't think that will happen bcause I dont have random sex really, but maybe I'll try something new.
My ears are ringing and my pizza id sone so I'm going to wash my face and sleep.
TaTa
Next installement of steph's crazy doings next week.
I've forgotten how relationships make me. They create this whole different person who doesn't like to socialise. I met 100 people tonight, all of which I won't remember their names, but it was awesome!
Alex, the Russian, Art and I met at the Lookout last night came over for dinner tonight, and I MADE pizza. Man it was goooood. Speaking of which......
Pizza in hand. MMMmmmMMM.
So, the russian was cool. he ahils from the land of the cold, and is currently here for two days to get his VISA to go to school in NYC at Columbia. Everything went well, I'm happy to report, and he's not getting deported. lol.
I'm way too drunk and hungry and horny to fucking type. Ah I remember the days I had sex all the time. dammit. oh well, now theres a chase involved and that's fucking awesomeeven if it's with people who are not of the same sexual orientation as myself. meh. whatever.
I'll start going to straight bars again when I'm ready to be hit on with full intention of having RANDOM sex. I don't think that will happen bcause I dont have random sex really, but maybe I'll try something new.
My ears are ringing and my pizza id sone so I'm going to wash my face and sleep.
TaTa
Next installement of steph's crazy doings next week.
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you should take my test
Aug. 13th, 2006 | 10:26 am
Create your own friendquiz here
Take it.......TAKE IT NOW!
EDIT: Hmmmmmm..... Not working......
EDIT 2: FIXED!
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(no subject)
Aug. 11th, 2006 | 09:19 am
Well, I gave 3 resumes to Quantum: The Temp Agency, the other day....
Can't get a job cause I don't have a phone, can't pay my phone bill cause I don't have a job....
I'm doing better, the slight episode, every once and a while. Much more infrequent.
I'm kind of getting to the point of being excited. I get to have ME time, something I've kind of thrown to the side during the past while...I think I used my relationship to ignore myself. So.. off to run up 6 flights of stairs 10 times.
My fingers are itchy. Strange.
Mary and I had a Dinner Party last night. More mary than I. I can't help it but when she cooks it scares me. I literally can't be in the kitchen with her at all.
Distraction, Distraction, oh how I love distraction....and no better distraction than excercise...
Can't get a job cause I don't have a phone, can't pay my phone bill cause I don't have a job....
I'm doing better, the slight episode, every once and a while. Much more infrequent.
I'm kind of getting to the point of being excited. I get to have ME time, something I've kind of thrown to the side during the past while...I think I used my relationship to ignore myself. So.. off to run up 6 flights of stairs 10 times.
My fingers are itchy. Strange.
Mary and I had a Dinner Party last night. More mary than I. I can't help it but when she cooks it scares me. I literally can't be in the kitchen with her at all.
Distraction, Distraction, oh how I love distraction....and no better distraction than excercise...
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(no subject)
Aug. 9th, 2006 | 12:25 am
It's kind of strange. There's some beauty in it. We'll be able to communicate on a level we haven't tried yet.
It started so simply. We found common ground in something uncommon and held onto our connection for soo long, too long. No ill will, no anger, no bitterness. Very uncommon way to end a common ground.
I love him to peices for the Man that he is. He's kind, generous and will make some girl very happy, ecstatically happy one day. That day isn't now, and that girl isn't me. We had a good run. Part of me wishes that it could go on forever. Part of me believes it will.
It was a mutual decision. Most of me wants to hold on for dear life. I'm not going to be that happy for a while.
I know it was the right thing to do, but I can't help trying to believe that it wasn't. We're too different.
He is such a huge part of my life and I have no idea how I'm going to go about learning to live without. It's going to take some getting used to.
It feels like a dream. All of it. I was dreading tonight. I was dreading what had to be done. I like to think we will always be a part of each other, at least I know he will always be a part of me.
I'm trying to distract myself from these emotions I've let out and can't cram back into that bottle they we're stuffed - so now I'm sitting in front of the computer writing to something that won't write back at me.
Micah and I broke up tonight.
Why does the right thing feel so wrong? Because it's hard? Because it's Change? Because it's the only way to grow.
"It’s not meant to be like this, Not what I planned at all.
I don’t want to feel like this....I feel a weakness coming on"
It started so simply. We found common ground in something uncommon and held onto our connection for soo long, too long. No ill will, no anger, no bitterness. Very uncommon way to end a common ground.
I love him to peices for the Man that he is. He's kind, generous and will make some girl very happy, ecstatically happy one day. That day isn't now, and that girl isn't me. We had a good run. Part of me wishes that it could go on forever. Part of me believes it will.
It was a mutual decision. Most of me wants to hold on for dear life. I'm not going to be that happy for a while.
I know it was the right thing to do, but I can't help trying to believe that it wasn't. We're too different.
He is such a huge part of my life and I have no idea how I'm going to go about learning to live without. It's going to take some getting used to.
It feels like a dream. All of it. I was dreading tonight. I was dreading what had to be done. I like to think we will always be a part of each other, at least I know he will always be a part of me.
I'm trying to distract myself from these emotions I've let out and can't cram back into that bottle they we're stuffed - so now I'm sitting in front of the computer writing to something that won't write back at me.
Micah and I broke up tonight.
Why does the right thing feel so wrong? Because it's hard? Because it's Change? Because it's the only way to grow.
"It’s not meant to be like this, Not what I planned at all.
I don’t want to feel like this....I feel a weakness coming on"
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(no subject)
Aug. 8th, 2006 | 01:07 pm
Inside-out, upside-down, twisting beside myself.
Stop that now, 'Cause you and I were never meant to meet.
I think you'd better leave. It's not safe in here.
I feel a weakness coming on.
Alright then, (alright then.) I could keep your number for a rainy day.
That's where this ends. No mistakes no misbehaving.
I was doing so well. Could we just be friends?
I feel a weakness coming on.
It's not meant to be like this. Not what I planned at all.
I don't want to feel like this. Yeah.
No it's not meant to be like this. Not what I planned at all.
I don't want to feel like this. So that makes it all your fault.
Inside-out, upside-down, Twisting beside myself.
Stop that now. You're as close as it gets
Without touching me. Oh now don't make it harder
Than it already is. I feel a weakness coming on.
It's not meant to be like this. Not what I planned at all.
I don't want to feel like this. Yeah.
No it's not meant to be like this. Not what I planned at all.
I don't want to feel like this. So that makes it all your fault.
Big trouble losing control. Primary resistance at a critical low.
on the, on the double gotta get a hold. Point of no return one second to go.
No response on any level, Red-alert this vessel's under seige.
Total overload all systems down they've got control. There's no way out.
We are surrounded. Give in, give in and relish every minute of it.
Freeze, awake here forever. I feel a weakness coming on.
It’s not meant to be like this, Not what I planned at all.
I don’t want to feel like this. Yeah.
No it’s not meant to be like this, It's just what I don't need.
Why make me feel like this? It's definitely all your fault.
Stop that now, 'Cause you and I were never meant to meet.
I think you'd better leave. It's not safe in here.
I feel a weakness coming on.
Alright then, (alright then.) I could keep your number for a rainy day.
That's where this ends. No mistakes no misbehaving.
I was doing so well. Could we just be friends?
I feel a weakness coming on.
It's not meant to be like this. Not what I planned at all.
I don't want to feel like this. Yeah.
No it's not meant to be like this. Not what I planned at all.
I don't want to feel like this. So that makes it all your fault.
Inside-out, upside-down, Twisting beside myself.
Stop that now. You're as close as it gets
Without touching me. Oh now don't make it harder
Than it already is. I feel a weakness coming on.
It's not meant to be like this. Not what I planned at all.
I don't want to feel like this. Yeah.
No it's not meant to be like this. Not what I planned at all.
I don't want to feel like this. So that makes it all your fault.
Big trouble losing control. Primary resistance at a critical low.
on the, on the double gotta get a hold. Point of no return one second to go.
No response on any level, Red-alert this vessel's under seige.
Total overload all systems down they've got control. There's no way out.
We are surrounded. Give in, give in and relish every minute of it.
Freeze, awake here forever. I feel a weakness coming on.
It’s not meant to be like this, Not what I planned at all.
I don’t want to feel like this. Yeah.
No it’s not meant to be like this, It's just what I don't need.
Why make me feel like this? It's definitely all your fault.
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(no subject)
Aug. 3rd, 2006 | 10:57 am
so. the wedding went well. thunderstromed the whole way through. fucking awesome.
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An update from Steph...Finally.
Jul. 17th, 2006 | 04:53 pm
Ok so, everything has not been going as planned for myself. I always forget that I can bear 3 weeks to a month of my parents treating me like a child. With this knowledge in hand, me, the optimistically cynical, have decided to return to this place of DOOM for 2 whole months. Yippee.
My uncle Peter arrived today as UNplanned, and my mother started to panic. NOTHING IS FINISHED. There are about 4 major renovations going on in this house. The entrance (complete rebuilding of), the back room downstairs (cracked foundation and movement of books), all of the windows (repainted and installation of new ones), and last but not least, recarpetting the basement.
I think what I'm going to have to do is take out a 2000$ loan from the bank to pay all of the things I need to pay and then pay it off this year ON TIME before taking out another loan for school in the fall of 2007. That should bring my credit up to snuff.
I also have to check out schools. Where I want to go and what I want to do.
Urg.
I can't wait to get back to my life.
My uncle Peter arrived today as UNplanned, and my mother started to panic. NOTHING IS FINISHED. There are about 4 major renovations going on in this house. The entrance (complete rebuilding of), the back room downstairs (cracked foundation and movement of books), all of the windows (repainted and installation of new ones), and last but not least, recarpetting the basement.
I think what I'm going to have to do is take out a 2000$ loan from the bank to pay all of the things I need to pay and then pay it off this year ON TIME before taking out another loan for school in the fall of 2007. That should bring my credit up to snuff.
I also have to check out schools. Where I want to go and what I want to do.
Urg.
I can't wait to get back to my life.